sunny pictures

I go big or I go home. When I actually decide to do something, I do it with passion. That is until I decide I don’t want to do it anymore. Then I just give up. I only seem to succeed at destroying myself.

I’ve always wanted to be these other people. But I went about it entirely the wrong way. I’ve just been playing characters. I’ve been playing the character of writer or the character of painter or the character of musician but not actually invested time in writing or painting or making music. I have loads of excuses about why I don’t spend my time making art and they all suck.

I think I’m really immature – too immature to be wasting all this money in college. I need to take a year and mature before I decide what I’m going to do.

The first thing I need to do with my life is get the fuck out of this bathroom.

I remember when my friend told me that if I am upset with the way things are in society I should get together with other people who feel the same way and try to change things. She learned all this from her social movements class. I desperately want to be in that class. I’m going to run with this idea. I’m going to get together with people other people who also don’t like the way things currently are and then I’m going to figure out how to change things. Not really in any political way necessarily.

I really miss Soulseek. It was such a community. And sometime’s you’d find really weird and random stuff. And sometimes people would message you and give you music suggestions. And there were so many things you could do. It wasn’t as easy as torrenting but it was way more fun. I miss my PC.

I'm warming up to my roommate's hamster. It's kind of weird because she's nocturnal. I'm glad she's not living in the closet anymore. I feel like she's much happier on the windowsill. I really wonder why my roommate got that hamster. Or why the people down the hall got a snake. Why would anyone want a pet like that? It's just an idea that's totally strange to me. Except fish I understand. Maybe it's because when I was little, fish were the only pet I had besides the traditional cat and dog. Animals that don't recognize you and almost just exist as an accessory creep me out.

I get really caught up in making playlists lately.