"I saw you at the funeral, You were standing there like a temple."

Perhaps it is with the short-sightedness that young people supposedly possess that I say I don't think I'll ever fall in love with anyone else. At this point in my life it doesn't seem either possible or desirable. It's been four years (although my crush began six years ago) and I haven't loved anyone else. I've barely even been interested in anyone else. How long is something like this supposed to take to get over? I haven't seen him since April and that was just a one time thing. Before that I hadn't seen him since the first week of January. That's seven months ago and it hasn't gotten easier. I am no less in love, no less hurt. The only difference is that I'm angrier. And perhaps I've realized that things are never going to work out. I think I know that. I don't know if I really believe it. If I stop wishing, there will be nothing left to wish for and that's even worse in some way. I just think it's something I'll never get over. Like Hurt dying. It's like I'm just so emotionally immature that I have no skills to know how to move on from these things. I thought it would get better but I can't think of either one of them without crying. The whole Jon thing, it just took too much out of me. I don't have anything else to give. And then there's the fact that there seems to be no boy of my age that is interesting or that shares any of my interests around here. If they are, I certainly haven't met them. I'm too crazy for romantic pursuits anyway. No one should have to be exposed to the crazy person I can be. And I wish I could somehow wear a sign that would keep all of them away. I don't even want to talk to any guy that's at all romantically interested in me. It just makes me feel sick and guilty and completely turned off. Perhaps I am truly one of those girls who only wants what she can't have.


Edit.

Holy shit, on King of the Hill Peggy said that however long a relationship is is how long it takes to get over it. Wtf.