i look at this blog everyday trying to think of something to write and i always just draw a blank. i have really stopped caring about everything including writing. i no longer even feel guilty for not writing or drawing or reading. i just want to watch movies all the time and i'm perfectly okay with that. i also no longer feel bad about doing drugs or not making an effort to hang out with people. i just don't care.
i want to escape. i don't want to go back to college. i want to get on a bus and "disa-fucking-ppear." but i don't even know where i would go.
i've always been a dreamer. when i'm bored i always just make up stories in my mind and most of the time they're about my own life. but now when i try i just get frustrated. i've lost any optimism i once had and can no longer even dream of a "happily ever after." i don't even know what that ending would look like.
i'm too apathetic at this point to even be sad and that's the part that's really annoying. i wish i could feel that debilitating sadness instead of just feeling absolutely nothing.
"i used to care but things have changed "
Saturday, January 2, 2010 | Posted by Sophie Hunter at 1:21 PM |
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2 comments:
sometimes i wonder if this is just a phase we (humans) go through, or if it's something only our generation is experiencing, or if it's just somethings that's totally random and only hits certain people. i don't know where i was going with this. i'll be back later to either delete this or expand upon it. sorry for wasting your time.
i've been wondering the same thing and i always lean towards generational...but i'm confused about the whole thing.
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